Profiling Love
by GeminiPiper
Summary: Leo Wyatt is a serious Profiler for the FBI. When he crosses paths with Piper Halliwell, a fun loving woman, will she be able to teach him that there's more to life than cases and clues? AU, PiperLeo, I disclaim. ON HOLD.
1. Meeting The Profiler

**AN: Hey, everybody!! If have read anything else by me, you know that I generally write AU, PiperLeo, no magic, and I'm back with another one!! I usually get ideas and have to post them, it's not my fault!! Anyway, I think you guys will like this! **

**On with the story!**

"Hey, Wyatt! What, they finally got you on another case?"

Leo Wyatt's shoes were almost were almost soundless as he walked the navy carpeted hallway, nearing his colleague. "Fuck you, Martinez. I just got back from Beijing a month and a half ago. I needed a break." He paused as he came to a stop in front of his coworker. "Well, they thought I did. How's the wife?"

Martinez grinned mischievously, shrugging his whit button down clad shoulders. "Lindsay's riding my ass as usual. How about you, Wyatt, you got anybody?"

Leo's smirk deepened. "Not all of us get married at 17." As he turned the corner, he could distinctly hear the words, "Fuck you, Wyatt"." Leo chuckled as he walked up to room 114, the plaque placed strategically on the taupe wall beside the door. Leo didn't bother to knock before turning the knob and entering the room to reveal two men in suits.

"Ah, Leo, come in. Please shut the door behind you."

Leo silently obliged, then sat across from them. A large sarcastic smile formed across his face. "Adams!" he said to the one who spoke, "How've you been?"

Adams pursed his lips and waited for Leo to return to his no nonsense manner. Finally, Leo's smile melted. Okay, boys, what've we got here? I'm a busy, busy man. So, a clepto, serial killer, pyro?" Leo picked up a folder and lazily flipped it open.

Adams pursed his lips again. "This isn't a joke. This killer is a psychopath and a sociopath."

Leo shut the folder with a little "whoosh". "Aren't we all?"

"Shape up, Wyatt." The other man barked.

Leo shot him a dangerous look. "How you doing, Jackson?"

Jackson glared at him. "Look at the damn file, Leo."

With an equally angry glare, Leo opened the folder as Adams started in on basic information.

"Well, the guy has been doing people in for 7 years—"

Leo looked up in surprise. "And you haven't caught him yet? Come on, Adams. We. Can. Do. Better."

Adams frowned. "Get off your high horse, Profiler. The guy is slippery." Leo began to drink in the information in front of him when he came across a picture of a woman. "It's actually very gruesome." Adams was saying.

"Wait a minute." Leo interrupted. "Who's this?" She had pretty russet locks and twinkling chocolate eyes.

"She's just about the only lead we've got. Piper. Piper Halliwell."

-----

Piper Halliwell raised the bottle of beer up above her head. Her hips swerved smoothly and her arms rocked from side to side as she spun slowly to the beat of the music in the leaving room.

"Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you." Piper sang lightly, joining the voice of Richard Marx.

Her older sister, Prue, walked into the doorway. "Oh no!" she exclaimed, "Not again!" Prue turned and began to walk away.

"Ah, ah, ah!" The youngest sister, Phoebe called from the couch. "If I have to sit through this you do too."

"Nobody said you had to." Prue grumbled, but took a seat beside her. After a moment of watching Piper twirl, she spoke. "Just how drunk is she?"

Phoebe scowled. "She's not drunk at all! I've been trying to get her liquored up for half an hour, just so I can turn that damn music off!"

Piper had recently broken up with her boyfriend of 5 years, Dan Gordon. Since then, she'd been tormenting her sisters with love song, after love song, after love song.

"Piper always did have a thing for love songs." Prue mused.

"Yes, yes she does." Phoebe agreed. "But now it's like, tenfold."

Prue chuckled as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" All three sisters exclaimed, Piper finally coming out of her dreamy daze. Piper was surprisingly in the lead, Phoebe behind her, and Prue bringing up the rear.

Leo waited patiently outside the Halliwell Manor for someone to come to the door. After a moment, he heard three female voices before the door was opened. Three women fell into one another, like beautiful dominos, except, luckily, they didn't fall down. The one in the front had a bottle of beer in one hand and was singing along to a Richard Marx tune. The one behind her looked annoyed. And the one behind _her_ had icy blue eyes and was warily looking him up and down.

He smiled sardonically. "You must be the Halliwell sisters."

**AN: So, what'd you think? I liked it a lot (not to toot my own horn) and I hope you did too! Drop a review!**


	2. The Demented Screamer

**AN: Thanks for the reviews!! If you don't know what a Profiler is, this chapter should clear it up!**

"That we are." Prue said warily. "And you would be?"

Cute, Piper thought, admiring the handsome blonde man.

"Leo Wyatt." He said, holding out his badge. "I'm a Profiler with the FBI. May I come in?"

Prue pursed her lips and opened her mouth, but not before Piper could speak.

"Sure!" Piper said quickly. "Come in. We can't turn away an officer of the law, right?"

Prue rolled her eyes as Leo smiled lazily. Piper flipped her long hair over her shoulder as the four of them walked back to the living room. Then it hit the sisters. FBI?

"Phoebe," Prue said slowly, "Could you get us something to drink?"

Phoebe opened her mouth to protest, but quickly went to the kitchen at a glare from her eldest sister.

"So," Leo began slowly, opening a notebook. "I'm here on the Larson murders."

Piper pursed her lips. "I should have known you guys would want to talk to me again. I already told you everything I know. I grew up with the guy, I didn't witness the murder!" Piper stood up, throwing her hands in air dramatically. "My God, I sure as hell didn't do it! I don't hold any fingerprints, or forensic evidence." She let out a mild cry and stalked up the stairs to her bedroom, whereupon they heard a loud slam.

Leo frowned deeply. "What's wrong with her?" he asked.

Prue pursed her lips as Phoebe returned with a tray of iced tea. "Cops piss her off." Prue admitted, picking up a glass. "After George was killed, they practically flanked the house, asking her all kinds of questions. She just wanted them to leave her alone. Which is why I'm so surprised she was so friendly with you." She admitted, giving him a curious look.

"I'm wondering," said Phoebe, "what exactly is it a profiler does."

Leo smiled, but his eyes flickered briefly to the stairs. "Actually, we watch people, what they do and then learn stuff about them."

Phoebe looked highly skeptical. "Oh really?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah. I'd say you're a fan of horror movies. You know, stuff like _Kill It Before It Dies_, you know, along those lines."

Phoebe gasped. "AH!!! I love _Kill It Before It Dies_!!! It's my fave!! How'd you know?"

Leo just smiled at her. "You mind if I go talk to her?" he asked Prue, motioning towards the stairs.

Prue raised an eyebrow. "Hell, if she'll talk to you, go for it. But Piper always was meddlesome." Prue warned.

Leo nodded and made his way up the stairs, hand rubbing lightly on the polished wood. When he came to Piper's door instead of the door being shut, it was wide open and she was standing on her bed, dancing slowly. It took him a moment to recognize the song but then he smiled.

"Now that she's back from the atmosphere, with drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey…" Piper sang softly, so as not to overpower Train.

For a moment, Leo watched her dance, leaning in the doorway. He liked the way she rose and fell as the bed adjusted to her shifting weight. He liked the way her stomach rolled slightly as she moved to the beat. And he couldn't help but notice the almost imperceptible heave of her chest as she sang.

"She listens like spring and she talks like June." Leo joined in suddenly, taken by the moment.

Piper looked up in surprise. His voice was beautiful. She couldn't help but wonder why his handsome face wasn't splashed all over MTV. Piper looked at him, but soon returned to dancing, not caring one way or another if he watched.

Leo couldn't help but watch as she continued, poetry in motion flowing from her hips, body dripping with sin. He wanted to throw her to the bed and go at it. Hard. And long.

"Piper." He said, finally snapping away from his thoughts. "Can I talk to you?"

Piper pursed her lips. In all honesty, he'd won her just by knowing the words to _Drops of Jupiter_. "Alright." Piper said, jumping up, crossing her legs Indian style in the air, then flopping down on the bed. "I'll talk to you. But only if you sing some more."

Leo frowned. Normally, he didn't really like to sing. He had only done it then because the feeling struck him. "No." Leo said forcefully, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Piper scowled. "You're no fun."

Leo gave her a rare blank stare, then proceeded to ask her questions. "How did you know George?"

Piper bit her lip. "I knew him all my life. He grew up in the house across the street. He was a good friend, I was so surprised when…_it_ happened. Anyway, I already answered all these questions. Why are you asking me again?"

Leo blinked indolently. "I'm a profiler. It's my job to see or hear about a person, then be able to know details about them."

Piper crossed her arms over her chest. "Is that so?" Leo nodded. "Well, then tell me something about myself." She begged excitedly.

Leo smirked. "_You_…" he thought for a moment. "_You_, are a screamer."

Piper gave him an odd look of slight incredulousness. "What the hell does that mean?"

"In bed." Leo said flatly. "You scream."

Piper cocked an eyebrow. "And you would know…How?"

Leo licked his lips. "From the way you move when you dance." Piper raised her other eyebrow. Leo pursed his lips in a smirk. "Well, when you dance, you move with your hips. A lot. And you sing while you do it. So it's only natural that when you dance with your hips and you sing that the same time that—"

"I got it." Piper interrupted. But as she thought about it, it did make sense. Apparently, Leo was back to business because he had the notebook open again.

"Are you going to answer any of my questions?" he asked, pen poised over paper.

Piper opened her mouth, but closed it quickly to smile. "Hey!" she exclaimed, "I have an idea."

"Oh yeah?" Leo challenged. "What's that?"

"We should go out tonight! You look like you could use a night off the job."

Leo looked slightly panicked, something he wasn't used to. "But I just got back from vaca—"

"No!" Piper protested. "It'll be fun!! Just be her to pick me up at 9:40." She stood up and started to push him toward the door. "9:40 sharp." She said shoving him out the door, then closing it behind him.

For a moment, Leo just stood in front of her closed the door. He had a date with a demented woman.

**AN: Tell me what you think!! Please review, it just makes my day!! Happy New Year's!!!**


	3. Body Shots

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews!! I know, this took _SO FREAKING LONG_!! I'm updating from somebody else's computer, so I don't know when the next update will be because my computer is being all stupid and won't work!! Bah Humbug! I would use stronger language but…well… Anyway, while I struggle with my internal demons, here's the chappy!!**

"Now, see, this is a club!! I mean, who would show their face in that dank bar you tried to take me to!?"

Leo looked at Piper as she jumped out of the car. She had on a short black skirt and red, belly bearing red halter. She looked _really_ good. Piper looked happy, and she was. She could here the music from their parking place and the littlest things made her ecstatic.

"…And so, was talking to Phoebe and she was all like 'Piper, shut up! You keep playing all those love songs'…" Piper babbled as they approached the club doors. Luckily for them, there wasn't a line, and as he opened the door for them, he kind of tuned out.

It was something about her…In all honesty, he thought that she might have been slightly delusional. But only slightly. As soon as she recognized the song, she smiled.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie, you brothers can't deny! When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing your face, you get…SPRUNG!!" Unwittingly, Piper had started a little shacking of the butt herself. Leo found himself watching the motion. Round and round and round and round…

"…And anyway, we all know that Garfield loves lasagna!" Piper shouted happily.

Leo raised his eyebrows for a moment, failing to catch up with the conversation. Oh well.

"You wanna dance?" Piper yelled over the music.

"I don't dance." Leo replied.

Piper smirked at him. Like she hadn't guessed that. "Come on!" she begged. "If you dance…" She couldn't think of anything. "Oh, come on!" she grabbed his hand and pushed their way to the dance floor.

"Don't you wanna get a table?" he asked, black and red lights flashing above them. Piper rolled her eyes and shook her head. He would do anything to keep from dancing.

"Come on!" she coaxed as she started to dance. "I'd bet you be really good if you'd give it a try." After a moment, she slid his hands around her waist and started rocking her hips against them. "This is a great dance song!" she shouted.

Leo gulped. Jesus Christ, was she _trying_ to turn him on? It sure as hell was working! He felt clumsy as he barely moved and she danced her heart out.

Piper rolled her eyes. "You've got to loosen up!" she yelled. "Dancing is so not fun if you can't dance!"

"I already told you!" Leo insisted. "I. Don't. Dance!"

Piper shook her head and dragged him over to the bar. "Two tequila shots!" she shouted to the bartender. Then she turned to Leo. "What are you having?"

Leo jut looked at her. It would be a long night.

-----

Leo himself had had a few drinks, but he was hardly as drunk as Piper.

She let out a whoop of happiness from the bar. Where she was standing. "Drinks all around!" she patted the bartender's shoulder as cheers went around the room. "On him!"

"Piper…" Leo begged, looking around anxiously. "Please, come down off the bar."

Piper rolled her eyes but obeyed. He knew it was bad when her face lit up. "Hey…" she said slowly. "Let's do body shots!" She said like it was the first time the thought had ever crossed her mind. Leo figured it wasn't. She lay across the bar. The bartender brought a shot and shoved it into Leo's hand.

"Me?" Leo asked incredulously. The bartender nodded.

He looked at Piper's still form for a moment. "Where?" he asked finally.

"My nipples!" she said giddily. Leo went white, then red. He stood there a moment, as a crowd formed.

"Dude, if you won't do it, I will!" some wino shouted from the back.

"So will I!" came a girl's voice.

Piper lifted her head to look at him. "Hey buddy! Are you gonna do it? My stomach won't be this flat come Christmas!" She lifted her shirt just enough to expose her belly button.

Finally, Leo poured the drink onto her belly, whereupon he slurped it up. The feeling of tongue and lips against soft skin was electric. He heard her giggle and smiled.

"My turn!" Piper announced, swinging her feet to jump to the floor. Quickly, she shoved him onto the bar.

"Wha—What are you doing?" Leo spluttered dimly.

Piper just smiled sexily and straddled him. Leo gulped heavily. Here he was, with this beautiful, if not slightly insane, goddess on top of him and all he could thing about was where she was going to put her mouth. Okay, maybe that wasn't so crazy.

"Snap out of it, Wyatt." He mumbled under his breath. She unbuttoned his shirt.

Piper eyed him carefully. "If you be still, I can do this." She poured the drink onto his chest where it fell with a splash. To, him the next few moments were a godsend. She was slurping up and down his chest, back and forth. Finally, she had sucked up all of the liquor. Her wandering mouth fell on his nipple where she bit him softly, then winked.

Leo was so out of his head he almost passed out on the bar. But Piper beat him to it, passing out on _him_.

-----

Piper's eyes opened halfway, as she moaned groggily. She rolled over to see what time it was and instead of facing her alarm clock with her autographed photo if Brad Pitt beside it, she found a regular digital clock reading 9:13. Her eyes flew open. Where the _hell_ was she?

Piper stood up and soon found a headache rushing to her. "Ohhh." She moaned, clutching her pounding head. She looked around and in her searching state, smelled bacon. She followed the intoxicating scent to find Leo Wyatt in his boxers and a tee shirt. Oh God. He was in his boxers. She couldn't stress that enough. God, he was good looking.

"Morning." He said, waving his spatula at her.

She smiled almost unnoticeably, and made her way to the coffee. "Let me guess." She said, pausing to think of where he would keep his mugs.

He smiled. "Here, I'll get you a mug." He moved to stand behind her and pressed into her a little, reaching up for a mug. She smiled her thanks when he handed to her. She poured a cup and drank it straight black. He watched him fiddle with the bacon, then frowned. "Turn it over now." She commanded.

He obeyed. "So, what were you guessing?"

"That I got drunk off my ass." Piper said, flopping down at the bar.

"Are you okay?" he asked, coming over with a bottle of aspirin.

She shrugged, taking the bottle, put putting her head down. " So long as we didn't sleep together. I don't have a problem. I drink, I get drunk, I pass out, no problem." Leo chuckled. Piper's head came up really fast, causing her to clutch it. "At least this isn't half as bad as that time I woke up in Manhattan." Her face turned worriedly thoughtful. "But that wasn't half as bad I woke up in Mexico."

Leo's face went blank. "Oh. My. God." He said, turning away. To her right, Piper noticed a stack of folders.

"What's this stuff?" she asked, though she was already opening one.

"Don't open that!" He said sharply. Piper ignored him. What she found in front of her were pictures of murder victims. One after the other pictures floated into perspective, along with their information.

A housewife, a conman, a banker…

"They seem unconnected." Leo said, with his back to her, putting food on plates. "But I know they are." Piper nodded. Leo put a plate in front of her.

"By the way, we didn't sleep together."

**AN: So, what'd you think? I happened to like it! Tell me what you think!!**


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